Dragging my Wings?

I have to say I thought doing my own internet marketing and business admin would be a lot easier.   After all, I have gone through enough business and marketing courses in my time, a lot of them even quite recently.  Plus, I have done the books for the family welding shop forever, it seems.  I even helped my brother write up a business plan for the shop in order to get a loan.

I didn’t realize how much harder it can be when you are so close to the business.  There is all this fear around getting it right and exposing your deepest wishes and dreams. On the surface, I know that it is ok to fail, but maybe I have had it ingrained in me too long that failure is the end.  I guess I need to keep working on my new belief that failure is really just a learning experience to show me a new direction rather than a signal to quit.

As well, I guess while I have been familiar with the welding shop my whole life, seeing how it works, what we have stood for and what we are capable of, my art business is still so new to me that I am still figuring it all out. I am still working on developing my art.  I am still learning how to build a website and send out a proper newsletter.  I am still unfolding and evolving, and so it is hard to say what my business should look like.  I think a streak of perfectionism makes me forget sometimes (maybe a lot!) that I don’t have to say this is what I am and forevermore shall be.  Hah!

So. What happens with all this closeness and newness (aka. fear of failure and being unsure)?  A whole lot of procrastination.  Dang!  I frustrate myself sometimes.  BUT (and, as one of my favourite high school teachers liked to say, I’d like to stress the BUT), I have not yet given up.  I keep slogging away, and occasionally I seem to be able to trick myself around my procrastinating and get something done.  Somehow, I managed to get my website up and running this year, and that was hard!  A big learning curve there. I have also finally installed QuickBooks and entered a year’s worth of receipts and invoices, and that one was much easier than I thought it would be.

And here I am finally writing my second blog.  Hopefully I will master MailChimp this week too, so I can send it out in my newsletter.

They say that artists have a hard time mastering their inner critic, which is true.  But it seems that now we are expected to overcome the hurdle of building our own businesses, as well.  It is proving to be a slow winding process for me. Nonetheless, I have hope that as I get used to doing these things, they will come easier to me. 

At times, I am left feeling totally overwhelmed, but it is at these times I take baby steps and ask myself, “what one little thing can I do right now that will start me back on my path again?”  It seems to work to get me going again.  So, while I usually shun New Years resolutions, perhaps this can be my mantra for 2017…along with a little dose of self discipline.

I hope that you all experience all the joy of the Christmas season, that you have the love of family and friends, and that you stay warm and safe as we end this year. 

Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year to all!